I'm about to go emo on you guys...
I'm going through an identity crisis again... I did this when Moriah was about 24 mos old (after my 2nd miscarriage) and now that Isaac's almost 16mos I'm doing it again... with my first, I dropped 30lbs, started only wearing handmade skirts and got myself new glasses and a nose gem... I had a style and I wasn't afraid to be who I was. I wasn't afraid to be the Hippie that I am/was and wasn't afraid to be different from the suburbian norm. My nose piercing ended up healing shut during my c-section and I really MISS it like crazy... I miss being the funky person I am/was... I've been in such a slump lately and I really feel the need to get back to my hippie/free/artsy self. I mean the mama image is me too but I feel like I'm not totally me and I'm afraid I'm teaching my kids not to express who they are or being comfortable with who they are, does that make sense? Am I too old for coloring some of my hair a fun funky color like hot pink or blue or purple? I really want to get my nose pierced again but we aren't necessarily done with having kids and I'd hate to do that and then it close again if I end up having another c-section. Plus, am I too old to have a nose piercing? Plus, Isaac is such a boy and I can totally see him pulling at it and OUCH! I think I need to wait until he's older and not in the family bed anymore. I'm due for new glasses too since it's been two years. I've had these fun funky glasses but let's be real... they have butterflies on them which really isn't me, and I make sure that pics of me don't show that part of my glasses. I can't seem to find a hairstyle that I like either and am growing out the "chop all your hair off" infant mama style.
I think it's finally time for me to admit that I'm just not feeling like myself anymore at least on the outside. I need to figure out who that is again and get myself out of this funk. That picture in my header is 2 years old... I've yet to find a recent picture of me that I like and really shows who I am.
I mean I know that I'm a child of God and that I'm a princess and perfectly beautiful in the eyes of God, I just know that how I look and feel right now doesn't reflect that outwardly. I want to feel like a princess again!
Making this page last night kind of helped me realize it... I love the relationship that Mark has with Moriah and I love how these pictures reflect what my relationship with God is... Moriah was a princess and her daddy was guiding her along. I need to remember that I'm a princess too and my Heavenly Father is guiding me along. I need to hold my Heavenly Father's hand again and not be afraid of who I am.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
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6 comments:
I totally think you could dye your hair. If you don't feel comfortable doing permeant go for something that last a month or so. And do whatever hair style you want. My eyebrow piercing ripped so I took it out to heal, now I miss it too.
I do like your glasses just minus the butterflies. I still rock funky style and feel more like me when I'm decked out.
Britt/milmomma
I agree- I really feel like if you're confident with whatever "look" you choose, you can pull off anything. I think things only look awkward when the person wearing them feels awkward. You'd look awesome with a streak (or lots!) of color. I have used a bright pink home dye that lasts a few weeks and showed up really well even on my DARK brown hair- I just did it on the underside so it showed if I had my hair in a ponytail but not so much if my hair was down. I cannot remember the name, but if I do I'll get back to you! That way you could try out the look for a while and see how it feels.
If it were me, practicality may win out on the piercing- baby fingers are a formidable foe!
I say go it! I struggle with the same issue except mine is with size and not age :) When I'm skinny I'm going to wear....When I'm skinny my hair will be.... I think back to high school and wonder where that "me" has gone! I miss her!
If you think you are too old, take a look at this creative lady! http://voodoonotes.blogspot.com (warning- she tends to use "colorful" language)
Oh my goodness, NO you are not too old! (((hugs)))
Heather, Heather, Heather- I seem to recall the same questions when you got your nose pierced the first time. lol I think there were more than a few of us on TBW who did the same thing around the same time. You are definitely not too old for any of things you've mentioned. Go crazy with pink hair (I did it for Halloween), get you're nose pierced again, get funky new butterfly-less glasses...whatever it takes to make you feel like YOU again. You are so awesome- you deserve to see yourself like that. And fwiw, I'm totally thinking of getting my nose pierced again too.
What a great post!
Personally, I think you have to do what it takes to be comfortable in your own skin. Rock the piercing, the hair, whatever it is you want to do.
I would love to get my nose pierced (no more kids here), but I don't know that it's really "me," so I'm letting it slide. I still do fun stuff with my hair, and I don't see that ever changing.
Have fun with being you!
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