Today is a day full of mixed feelings for me. While I love celebrating being a Mama, my heart aches for those who desire to be a mama but aren't. My heart aches for those who want more kiddos but can't due to secondary infertility. My heart aches for those who've lost babies. I've been there and remember how hard this day was for me. I am so incredibly blessed though, God gave me the desires of my heart and I strive every day to be their teacher and teach them the things of God. I'm definitely not perfect, but gosh darnit, I want to be with them. I love them so much and I hope they know that. I hope they know how much of a gift from God they are and that God was the one who named them long before they were even conceived. I love the story of their names. I love that when we were finally pregnant that wasn't one of the many things we had to think about for them. God knit them so perfectly in my womb and I'm forever grateful for God answering our prayers. I love each of their personalities and I enjoy being with them. You know what I really wanted today? I really wanted my son to say "Mama" to me... he didn't and instead pointed to Mark and said "Dada"... that was my one wish for today... I didn't get it :( oh well, I had a blast with them. Today was a really great day. I got to worship with a community of believers that I love so much and consider to be my family and then I got to spend the rest of the day rejoicing in the gift of motherhood and hang out with my husband and kids... what more could I ask for?
Thanks for reading my ramblings, my thoughts are all over the place tonight, lol!
This is the best picture of me with my kids today, gotta love this age :)
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1 comments:
Heather I think you and I have a lot in common..I'm not sure of your journey into motherhood, but mine involved 3 years of primary unexplained infertility, 3 failed IUI's and then 2+ years of secondary infertility. There is not a day that goes by that I don't look at my babies and thank God for letting me be their Mama..and just like you said in your post, even though I am so blessed to have them in my life today, this morning as I sat in church I remembered all the Mother's Days I went through that literally tore my heart into b/c it seemed I would never have children of my own. We are truly blessed. :)
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